Top 10 things people say sympathetically that make you want to strangle them.

I wrote this manly for the people who say these things. You need to know the impact it has on someone with a single person with depression, or is just plain shy. These types of comments are diff icult and painful to hear. Basically what I am putting dsown are my responses. It may be somewhat brutal, but this is what instinctively pops into my head.


Rather than saying these things...do something. Introduce your friend or family member to singles that you know. It may be difficult for them to strike up a conversation so be there to inject humor, ideas etc.Myself I prefer humor. Don't talk about things that are unfamiliar to them. That will make them either clam up or feel even more insecure.

For all of you out there who are single and depressed understand this.

These things are said with the best of intentions, and moreover they MEAN it. The issue that needs to be addressed is your reaction to the comment. You need to construct your positive response beforehand. When the negative response come into your head, try to realize that it is not valid. Replace that response with your positive one.


1.Oh there's lot's of woman who would just LOVE to meet you.

Oh yeah, show me one! It's really easy to say that, but actions speak louder that words. It's impossible when you can't start up a conversation.


2.When are we going to get a (grandchild, nephew, niece etc.)?

My initial response is usually (to myself), "Never at this rate."


3.She's out there, you just need to find her.

Then talk to her. Then ask her out. Then not act like an idiot. Internalize the rejection. Rinse...Repeat.


4.It will happen when you least expect it.

And I've been not expecting it for how many years now?


5.Wow, I wish I were single and in your shoes!

Wanna trade? No I'm not talking about anything immoral here. It's just that a depressed single person WOULD GIVE ANYTHING to be in your shoes.


6.Have you tried (online dating, speed dating, etc.)?

Aargh! If I can't speak to a woman you think I will be able to speak to a new one every 7 minutes? And online dating? I spend too much time on the computer already!


7.You are such a great guy! I'm sure you will find someone soon.

I was a great guy yesterday, and the day before...


8.You just need to get out more.

Yep, going out and NOT talking to people, and having people NOT talk to you is very effective. Doing more of it must be better.


9.Come on it's easy. Just got to the (insert public location here). You offer some woman help, spark up a converstaion then ask her out.

You know, I've NEVER heard of anyone meeting someone like that.


10.Last time I went out there were tons of women looking for a nice guy like you.

See item #7. This one is actually a little worse than #7 because it points out that the last time you went out these "Women looking for a great guy" didn't talk to you.


Ok I lied, make it 11. Here's another beaut! Saw it while researching and HAD to add it.


11.Your turn is next (at a wedding).

Ok I stole this one from another article, but this one drives me crazy!

Had to mention it one because with this one you get a three-fer. 1) First it's pointed out a that you are single, at a time in which you are already feeling 2) a bit jealous of the happy couple. And finally you are feeling 3) guilty for feeling jealous.